anaphylaxis and bicycles.

Before I begin, A shout-out to my newest reader, my Dad! (Go internet techie! Feel free to leave comments below.)
I must apologise for my brief disappearance — I have not forgotten my beloved blog. In all pathetic honesty, I haven’t had anything blog worthy until 2 days ago. Don’t get me wrong, stuff happens, but mostly the mundane day to day life stuff that nobody wants to hear about, much lest me blather about online.

So finally, after waiting since October, we had our appointment with Bea’s dermatologist to get her some prick testing. No, it’s not how it sounds, she’s not an arsehole. It’s an allergy test that grazes the skin with all different foods, grasses and furs with a little plastic scraper thing that looks sorta like a crown. They prick it down her back about 12 times and leave it for 15 minutes to see what results come up. It’s not quite as abrasive and awful as it sounds, but it sure wasn’t fun. My little lady went red and got horrible welts on her face and back, her eyes went red and watery, and she began to get very irritable. When we took her in, I remarked how something must be happening, because of her facial redness and general lousy misdemeanour.
“NO,” says the dermatologist. “It doesn’t show up on the face usually. She’s just tired.”

Um, okay.

I was going to point out that “usually” implies that there are surely some severe cases in which this would occur, and perhaps Beatrix falls into this category, but this was clearly one of THOSE doctors where humble stay-at-home mamas suggesting things is a bit of a faux-pas.
After some umming and ahhing at Bea’s various rashes and welts, the doctor gave us the low down; she’s allergic to eggs, dust mites, cat hair and peanuts. The dust mites had the most full-on reaction, much to my woe (how the fuck do you get rid of something that lives in EVERYTHING?) but the peanuts are a more severe and permanent allergy that can be life threatening. Peanuts are a bastard to be allergic to because they’re in everything. And the few things they’re not in, have warnings saying “MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUTS” and thus, this requires us to carry an EpiPen (adrenaline shot) with us at all times. We got given 500 sheets of paper about anaphylaxis, what names and code numbers eggs and peanuts go by in foods, application forms for about 50 different clubs to join and a DVD about administering the EpiPen, which, really, just looks like a big magic marker that you stick in someone’s leg. Thankfully, they make the whole thing fairly idiot-proof and even send you out a fake one so you can practise with all your friends!
Oh, the joy of having children.
Speaking of which;
I was walking down the street pushing Bea in her stroller today when two kids rode up onto the pavement on their BMXs, and Bea looks at them, points her finger and yells; “MY DADDY BI-CLE!” which I think translates to something about daddy and a bicycle. I was trying to work out why she was shaking her head and getting so mad about it when I realised that in my routine of showing her flash cards, I utter the phrase “Daddy has a bicycle, doesn’t he?”
I think she was assuming that these kids had stolen Daddy’s bicycle. She constantly fascinates me.

I swear I had something else really witty and amusing to tell you all but really, I got zip right now, I’m exhausted. I just got home from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala, and it was fuckin’ fantastic. I’d give you more information but if you’re that interested, you can just bloody watch it in 2 weeks time. Oh my God, am I plugging Channel 10? What was I saying again?