This year, I’m actually proud of myself that I got my Christmas shopping done before the crazed Christmas Eve rampages. That said, I’ve always been semi-curious about the 24-hr open hours at Chadstone, and wondered if it’d be fun eating soft serve while window shopping at 3 A.M, but truth be told, I’m a little scared of soccer mums and their scary wrestling tactics used in order to secure that perfect last toy. I love my Beatrix to bits, and I also love buying her toys that I know she’s going to adore, but I’m not getting crushed for nobody — especially not while 4 months pregnant.

I do have a last few items on my list, but these are mostly because both my Mum and I are really stubborn and can’t decide on what we want. So on Saturday, while Bea spends the day with her Daddy, we’re going to go shopping together and just go “Uhh, buy me that.” I’m not normally into telling people what to buy me, I like the idea of “It’s the thought that counts”, and I don’t really like my surprises ruined, but our original plan of going to Chapel Street Bazaar and raiding it for awesome 1950s antiques has gone to shit because we’re lazy, so we’re just gonna attack a mall instead. I’d rather that than get her another fucking frypan.

Bea has also decided that Santa is bringing her a scooter. A ‘Dora the Explorer’ scooter. Bea’s seen Dora a grand total of 3 times on Saturday morning TV, and now has a slight obsession. I wasn’t even sure a Dora scooter existed and was getting worried every time Bea would see a Santa in a mall and tell him “I want a Dora scooter”, because I don’t want to have to deal with Santa disappointment at the age of 3, that’s slightly devastating. I’ve bought her various little things from myself for Christmas, so its not like she’ll get nothing, but this is the one big thing that she wants and thinks Santa will bring her and I feel like its my SuperMum duty to make it happen! So, last weekend I had gone to secure a baby bouncer that I had shamefully seen on an episode of Sex and The City — Miranda’s neighbour loans her this awesome vibrating chair to stop Brady’s 3 A.M screaming — and when I saw this invention I decided that I had to have it for Baby No. 2. I finally saw one in a Toys R Us catalogue for half price and braved the Christmas crazies to go get it, and at the same time saw posters in store for, praise the Lord, a 30 dollar Dora scooter. Score! Unfortunately, I had neither enough arms to carry it, enough patience to get back in the queue to buy it… and Bea was in the mall with me, so I couldn’t very well buy it with her there. Since then, do you think I can find a fucking Dora scooter? Argh. I hate when you see exactly what you want and are too stupid to buy it at the time. Lesson for all, there is no tomorrow, pretend you’re dying and buy everything the instant you see it. This sounds horribly consumerist, but this sort of thing happens to me ALL the time. I bank on something being in a store or still existing and 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t. It’s so infuriating. And this is even worse because there is Dora shit everywhere, in every Target and Kmart and shitty toy store under the sun, and this is the one thing I can’t find. I’m going back to Toys R Us on Saturday (its a fair trek from my house) and if its not there I’m going to find a Santa impersonator and make him tell Bea that the elves ran out of Dora scooters.

I hope you all have better luck than I’m having so far! Enjoy yer Christmases.